hauntedmetalmidis:

campfireharvest:

micspam:

micspam:

who give a shit

this website has destroyed my fucking sense of humour like who do i share this with. who do i show this to. all of my friends are normal and i cant show my family anything i do online so just what the fuck where do i go from here

theshitneyspears:

Me: god please show me a sign if he’s not the one

God:

blacksquares:

for my entire life i wondered why a dragonfly has an ass thats like 8 times as long as their body and tonight i finally felt compelled to investigate and as it turns out dragonflies breath thru their ass and can shoot water out of their butt hole to make them fly faster…….so…… i really did not expect that to be the answer but there it is

fartgallery:

me: *walkin around in a haunted mansion with a piece of lettuce in my hair*

portrait of a woman hanging on the wall: *follows me with her eyes*

me: I have a girlfriend

portrait: ok lettuce head

guy:

one time my parents had an argument because my dad bought a bald cap for $2.70 but he was already bald